did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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