there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize