I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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