Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
