i wish my penis had a tongue
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
