normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
