so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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