what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
