I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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