There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize