She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
