yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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