Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
