remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
