Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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