She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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