It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize