I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
