I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
