I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
