"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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