3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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