She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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