I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
