How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
