very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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