so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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