Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
