16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
