At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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