dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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