kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
