Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
