I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize