if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
