Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
