I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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