"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
