all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
