Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
