so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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