This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
