Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
