Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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