don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
