gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
