jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
