there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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