don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
