In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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