I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
