she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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