Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
