is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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