so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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