can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
