Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
