There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
