That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just tell him i said nine months
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
