Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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