I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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