What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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