i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
